How I See It

Sometimes i feel like the floaty that keeps my family from sinking

Feel like the mouth piece to some of the thoughts folks be thinking

Feel like a man who’s always been special

Feel so honored to be one of GOD’S golden soulja’s and vessel’s

Felt bad when she left, but finally happy she gon

Felt like i lost my self, but finally found my way home

Felt wrong when i was right

Felt right when i was wrong.

Felt like i learned a lot, just from my feelings alone

Feel i gotta step harder

Feel i gotta move smarter.

Feel like da game from da bench, gives you a different view from da starters

Feel like the tables turned around

Feel like i’m up one, when i was just the one down

Feel like it’s gon’ make sense later on

Feel like they’ll never catch on until i’m on

Feel like girls really my weakness, when they ain’t the right one of course

Feel like the right one around the corner though, so imma take care of home and stay the course

Feel like i’m short on time, with a whole a lot still to do

but also feel i’m right on time, my new check big, i done paid my dues

I feel underrated & misconstrued

but feel imma change that narrative pretty soon

I feel like life really ain’t bad

Feel like we only think that, when we frustrated and sad

Feel like there’s always a reason to hope, so i keep mine up

Never will i listen to the world, they tell us not to get our hopes up.

but i remember when i lost all hope & i feel that’s exactly what kept me in a rut

I feel that’s exactly what kept me outta touch

That’s exactly what kept me in a bubble, no hope made me feel like a bust.

..i’m floating now

Feel like a boat in a river, i be rowing now

not at my top speed, but I feel the wind blowing now

like it’s a breeze, but this ain’t ease, I just got muscle now

Kajuan (Poetic Jizzle) ✍🏾💭

A Grip

letting go of what we can’t control, takes a whole lot of self control

let dat sit

it takes a whole lotta self improvement

it takes a whole lotta repositioning

it’s when you take yo hands off da situation & get a grip of yourself.. you paying attention ?

it’s when uon lose sight of you, even if others forget who you is

it’s when you no longer gotta prove yo self to anybody.. & you okay wit saying it is what it is

& it ain’t what it ain’t

so if the love ain’t there, well the love just ain’t

thangs don’t always go how we plan it to,

but dat goes for every other person on dis planet too

“keep yo head up”, dats so cliche

what if a youngin fed up, den what we say?

what if da head gettin heavy, & da heart beating slower

would you be my neck brace? would you be my shoulder?

GOD & you know yo answer

& i low key know it too.. ppl fold on me all da time, so i have an idea of what you’ll do

but dats da deal, dats when thangs get real.. imma let go of watchu do, & just manage how i feel

ion een care bout how you keep it, imma just make sho i keep it a mill

– Kajuan

A Cry, But Not For Help

don’t mistaken dis for a cry out for help.

this is just me comprehending that bottling my pain is no longer good for my health.

I survived without you then.

so ion think i need you now

dis time i’m finna thrive & get da win.

gotta move, da clock’s whining down

i’m just sharing pieces of my heart, all in the form of art

i ain’t no content creator, GOD created me to be star

KJ, i love yo smile, i wish i could be more happy

well me too, this ain’t no fantasy, just cuz i smiling dat don’t mean i’m happy

ppl i would fight for, turned around and jabbed me

i turned the other cheek & guess what, dey cocked back and slapped me

unhm you feel what i’m sayin, but dat don’t mean dat you felt it

let da wrong person hold my heart for too long, & look now it’s melted

lesson learned baby. if i deserved it, it couldn’t have been lesser earned baby.

i’m good doe. i’m just damaged.

a damaged good, & when other girls seen dat, dey took advantage, just like a foul desperate chick would

i be like she left me stranded

i just be playin but i ain’t playin

in a world full of bummy chicks & think dats an approved saying

i had what i wanted, i prayed, searched and found

now deez girls barking at me, like dis a crazy dog pound

& i could be a dawg too, but i ain’t in da mood to hound

had a few feening for sum & i ain’t even go knock ‘em down

i’m growing up

either dat or deez girls make me sick i feel like throwing up

why Jizzle go missin, he was just showing up

i keep my distance so dat dey don’t see me blowing up

last year I cried for help, dis aint dat same cry

it’s a cry but not for help, imma kill da wolf dis time..

✍🏾💭

– Kajuan

Last Straw

i’m sorry lil mama, but i can’t treat every female like she’s a wife.

i got ran over like dat.

once i got up & shook it off, if i’m being honest i was a lil off.

meaning i had some malfunctions

never wanted to seem like every other dude, but i got perceived me as one anyways

got me willing to risk my image

look i treat em like they all hurt me, even if it’s a new face

& i apologize for dis, gon head add it to all my other mistakes

my heart ain’t closed, it’s guarded, so you can still window shop

letting me kno exactly watchu on from da start is a great way to get it unlocked

otherwise ion kno nun. like if you different from da rest, i heard dat, now show sum

what do you want? why are you here? deez are da questions i need made clear

da more i gotta question you, da more i gotta study you

& since we taking it to skoo, i got an exam for you

cuz best believe you ain’t testing me without being tested too..

fellas i now know, dat just cuz she gotta crown, don’t mean it’s real gold

just cuz she hold you down, don’t mean she won’t fold

& just cuz she here, don’t mean she’ll never go

aye tell a 5 dat she fine, it’ll impact her more den it would a dime

some pretty girls think dey too pretty to appreciate compliments cuz they hear them junks all da time

i used to reach out, & check in from time to time

but now i’m tired of being the only one having folks on my mind

so now i’m checking out, no matter how long da time, we won’t chit or do a chat unless you hit my line

there’s messages i sent out, dat still ain’t get a reply

some were urgent too, thank GOD i didn’t die

they be either mad i did it, or mad i didn’t comply

can’t never keep them happy, so i ain’t even finna try

when life be feeling pressure, dats exactly what i apply

dey want ya man feeling less than, dats when i tell em i’m dat guy

& i ain’t tryna sound cocky, i’m really just hurting in disguise

i’m actually very humble, & just da other day i had done cried

but if ion put up dis tough front, they’ll take advantage & think i’m weak on all sides

in “Residue” i wrote, “vulnerability has the ability to bring healing unity to a broken community”

so shawdy as i be vulnerable with you, please be vulnerable wit me

i’m not The Healer & neither are you, but the healing can start now, between me & you.

✍🏾💭

– Kajuan

It’s Different Now

I had a nightmare i mistaken as a dream

da fact dat it looked so good but was nothin dat it seemed

makes me over analyze the surface, da undertone & everythang in between now

i’m a good man, but what does dat even mean now

good vs bad, if we put it to da test, dey gon put me last, cuz i’m something like da best

i see life differently

i realize i’m always a winner when i’m not lost mentally

dats my perspective, & some will say it’s subjective, but i object, it’s a fact, i only speak truth & objective

you can save ya questions, i ain’t answering nothing.

when i asked for a hand, you ain’t hand me nothing

can’t do dis by myself, but fasho won’t ask em for nothing else

look at my art, & read between da lines.

dats da closest thang to a convo you gon get dis time.

i know dey snatching chains

but i’m focused on protecting my golden heart & healthy brain

ain’t no robbing those.

surveillance on & deez doors locked & closed

laser focused, i’m locked in, wit a lotta loads

i reminisce, den i reminisce some more

den i tell myself dat i ain’t ever doin dat nomo

let myself manipulated, violated, & disrespected,

begging right after i get neglected & rejected

falling off cuz me & some chick fell apart

moving hurt, den breaking a bunch of other chicks hearts

calling em bro’s before taken em through a test

chilling with da average & compromising my best

letting a girl make me feel like i’m dat boy

den let da same girl make me feel like nun but a toy

see people don’t recognize dey actions, dey just see all yo reactions

i promise dey never seen me like dis, everytime I was in pain, i blew up & went insane, but dis time i choose to remain sane & maintain a solid frame even with these chips on my shoulders. like some crunchy stains

da way i’m coming, dey gon have to feel me. an authentic youngin dey gon meet da real me

& i got to thinking.. dey was never there for me during da hard parts of da story, so why do i try to bring em along to enjoy all the parts where there’s glory

miss me wit dat.. now it’s reap watchu sow. you ain’t gimme crap, den turned around & gave me crap to go

fasho

& nah i ain’t holding a grudge, i’m just jotting down some notes

back den, i let em all fool me.

never again doe, & dats thorough

Felt Real

face to face

warmly embraced

& da sound of yo voice, gave my heart a new pace

i ain’t felt dat way in a while

you were in my arms again

it was a dream but it made me smile

….now here goes my alarm again

– Kajuan J Kinsey ✍🏾💭

Resurrection

Thank You JESUS!

You made a way.

I was trapped in all my sins, then You opened up a gate.

had consequences too heavy to bare, but You lifted all my weight.

You demonstrated such Grace,

that i’m now saved by through Faith.

You took the cross, & whatever it took

they thought You were dead, but death was just how it looked

it was only for a moment, it was only for some time..

3 days later, Good News, HE’S alive!

HE was sowed, liked a seed, buried was a disguise

they can’t corrupt This ONE, when they tried,

HE revived

matter fact HE multiplied

all the Christians around the world only Christians cuz we in CHRIST

we’re the evidence of HIM, so they rather keep us quiet

but the world we can’t comply

to the world we can’t conform

JESUS is The Way, The Truth and The Life!..

you better get that right, before that loud horn.

every knee, i’m talkin every knee will bow, to The Risen KING

The ONE we’re talkin bout

every tongue, i’m talkin every tongue shall confess

The Only True LIFE

The One Who killed death

The TRUTH never fails, HE’S The Perfect Answer to this life test

so when you’re ready confess

say, LORD, it’s You Who i Love, believe, trust and receive.. and this, i mean, Amen.

now thank HIM for The Resurrection

– Kajuan J. Kinsey

Dats My Momma

“gorgeous and beautiful..

with a preciousness that’s immovable.

she is,

Loving, Lovely and Lovable..

as well as,

adoring, adoringly adorable.

she is,

a wonderful queen..

and about her, i’ll get mean.

a chocolate complexioned island mama..

ladies & gentlemen,

dats my Momma”

– Kajuan J. Kinsey (Jizzle (Baby Boy))🤎👑✍🏾

Residue

you can clean a mirror..

and still leave streak’s.

you can hop in the shower, then hop in the bed & use the same sheets.

you may not recall every word in the text & still remember the message.

& yo lens may be focused on what’s next.. while the focal is still on the overage

i mean the over-age, them thangs that’s over with, outdated & on a previous page.

it’s all in yo story,

even though you writing new lines

people see it, people read it even though they know that you fine.

it’s called residue.

you may be healed & in way better shape, but you got scars from obstacles you had ran into.

& them scars tell a story. don’t try to hide it, let The LORD get HIS Glory.

vulnerability has the ability to bring healing unity to a broken community.

we ain’t the only one who feel it,

but we hide pain, that don’t never really heal it.

it’s okay, you can let the cut breathe, you ain’t gotta cover it up with the long sleeve.

it ain’t soft & it ain’t weak.

residue has a voice, let it speak.

– Kajuan J. Kinsey (Poetic Jizzle) ✍🏾

Shine Bright Regardless

“what if dey showed you dey cared, den suddenly ended da show?..

& you find out it was a coping attempt due to them feelin low?..

what if yo pain felt like a permanent stain?..

what if yo authentic, gets treated plain?

what if yo words mean nothin to em?..

& what about yo actions, what if dey don’t even care if you do em?..

what if dey only listen to you, just to plot in you?..

what if dey fake liking you to catch a vibe or two?..

what if you open up, and den it backfires?..

what if da one you trusted, is one of da biggest liars?

what if it was always bright & was never dark?..

there wouldn’t be no hidden truths for us to embark..

so be thankful for da sunshines & for da cloudy days..

shine bright regardless, darkness can’t outshine nothin anyways.”

Kajuan J. Kinsey

✍🏾